Wednesday, August 29, 2007

today

Today I need to be kind.

I need to be kind to myself.

I need to tell myself that my mistakes are ok. That I have learned from them. I need to explain to myself that I have done the best that I can with all that I have been given in all of the circumstances that have been handed to me. I need to forgive myself for letting myself and others down in those moments when I have not been as good or as kind or as proactive as I needed to be.

I need to forgive myself for not knowing for sure what to do all of the time. I need to try and forgive myself for not knowing what to do when someone else was counting on me. I need to try and forgive myself for not knowing for sure what to do when someone else really needed me to know for sure what I was doing and make proper decisions. I need to forgive myself for not being brave when I needed to be brave. I need to forgive myself for not standing strong and firm in my beliefs.

I need to turn the kindness and empathy I feel for others on myself. I need to use the forgiveness I have had and do have for others - on myself. I would have long ago forgiven others in my life for these mistakes, wrong paths and shortcomings, why have I not forgiven myself?

I need to take it easy on my soul. I need to listen to the good things that people say to me and about me. I need to listen to those things and absorb them into my heart.

I need to go forward and trust my instincts. I need to go forward and trust that my instincts are leading me in the right direction. I need to trust that what I know and what I have learned in life will lead me to make the right decisions for me and for you. You are counting on me and I need to trust that I can do what needs to be done, and that I have taught you enough to know that you can do for yourself what needs to be done.

I need to trust myself to say no. I need to say it more often and know that I am doing it for the right reasons. I need to understand that it is ok to say no. Whenever, to whatever and whomever I need to say it to. I need to practice saying no. I need to learn not to do things for the wrong reasons. I need to learn that maybe in the moment things may feel right or ok, that a decision may feel right or ok in the moment ... but down the road, will this decision affect me, hurt me, harm me in some way?

I need to learn to love me as much as I love the people in my life. I need to respect me like I respect my loved ones.

I need to go outside and put my face in the sunshine and smile from the inside out.

If not today,

then tomorrow?

11 comments:

Unknown Me said...

Such an easy theory, and yet so hard to put into practice...especially when you're applying it to oneself! But you are right, you do deserve it!

Sarah said...

I. LOVE. IT. Fucking great. Words to live by. Loving and accepting yourself is hard, especially when we're always used to taking care of other people and putting them first, but it's necessary.

BTW, in response to my blog post, yes! It totally is Melissa Etheridge! The Awakening is her new CD coming out in Sept!

Autumn Storm said...

Written down, should you ever forget, you can come back to it to remember, and remember why. I think anyone reading this, will be able to take something away with them, a reminder to themselves also. Take care.

Kerstin said...

being kind to one's self is the hardest thing to do...yet so important. just remember, for everything there is a time.

kittenroar5 said...

thanks... i needed that.

Sizzle said...

today is as good a day as any. and then there is also tomorrow- another day to try again. :)

this is healing stuff.

Caroline said...

What a great post. I lovd it!! Thanks for the reminder.

Anonymous said...

i am amazed by your writing skills, and that is (not very surprisingly) a hard think to do for yourself.

i love you mom

megan

MARFSBABY said...

What a beautiful post. And important words to (try to) live by for sure. I hope you remember too though that these are words other people need to live by too.

jlb said...

wow, it's an odd experience to hear in another's words the things i need to be saying to myself...
thank-you for that...and yes, try the sunshine....close your eyes and feel the warmth.
j.

Eye of the Rainbow said...

What a beautiful post :)